Sorry is just a word...

I sat there tonight staring at you so blankly,
confused at why we were having this talk.
I knew I had been in that place before as it seemed so familiar.
So much the same except you weren't there.
I've done this before, and I know how it goes.
We sit and cry, apologize for everything that went wrong.
Wishing we could go back and change the things that got us here.
Convince ourselves that it was no one's fault, and continuously say "sorry".

Sorry is just a word.......it doesn't make it easier.
We built this amazing life together in our minds.
But we let so many things tear it down.
It feels like this is the millionth time I've tried to let you go.
Maybe it is. Maybe it will always come back to you.
This was all my choice. This is what I need.
I need to be me, only me, I need to find me.

I hate that I've caused you so much pain.
I hate that I've caused myself so much pain.
I hate that I think the way I do.
I wish it was as easy as just being with you.

I can't cry anymore. I won't cry anymore.
I've done this all before and never wanted to do it again.
I can't keep replaying everything in my head. It gets me no where.
I wanted this. I needed this.
I will always love you, I hope you will always love me.
I understand if you want nothing to do with me.
I'm not going to say goodbye to you, because I don't want this to be goodbye.
I always want you to be part of my life.
Maybe you'll be the greater part of my life one day.
That day just isn't today.

If you love something, let it go.......

I know you dont' quite get why this had to be done.
But when you are living your life for someone else you're not actually living.

To hear you say I am the only reason you are still alive is a scary thing.
I had been ignoring all of this for a long time, and look where it got us.

When we split last time we should have kept it that way.
Instead we tried to pretend everything was alright when really it was unravelling right before our eyes.

I'm sorry if you feel like I am abandoning you when you need me most, sometimes I feel that way, but I am still right here.
I know its not the same, and I can't apologize enough for that.

You have to think positive, and remember you will be a better person in the end.
You'll be yourself again.

And if we never become what we always dreamed of together, just know I will always love you,
and I cannot wait to meet the new person you become.

If you love something set it free......

if it comes back to you its yours.

Goodbye my love.