Sorry is just a word...

I sat there tonight staring at you so blankly,
confused at why we were having this talk.
I knew I had been in that place before as it seemed so familiar.
So much the same except you weren't there.
I've done this before, and I know how it goes.
We sit and cry, apologize for everything that went wrong.
Wishing we could go back and change the things that got us here.
Convince ourselves that it was no one's fault, and continuously say "sorry".

Sorry is just a word.......it doesn't make it easier.
We built this amazing life together in our minds.
But we let so many things tear it down.
It feels like this is the millionth time I've tried to let you go.
Maybe it is. Maybe it will always come back to you.
This was all my choice. This is what I need.
I need to be me, only me, I need to find me.

I hate that I've caused you so much pain.
I hate that I've caused myself so much pain.
I hate that I think the way I do.
I wish it was as easy as just being with you.

I can't cry anymore. I won't cry anymore.
I've done this all before and never wanted to do it again.
I can't keep replaying everything in my head. It gets me no where.
I wanted this. I needed this.
I will always love you, I hope you will always love me.
I understand if you want nothing to do with me.
I'm not going to say goodbye to you, because I don't want this to be goodbye.
I always want you to be part of my life.
Maybe you'll be the greater part of my life one day.
That day just isn't today.