It's been 8 months since I last vented about you,
8 months since I tried to forget this nightmare.
It took you 7 months to turn yourself in,
and 2 months for you to be released.
Worse than seeing an ex boyfriend who broke your heart,
I saw you today.
I thought it would be easier by now, I thought I would say what I wanted.
I froze.
To be somewhere so simple as a tanning salon,
to turn around after hearing your name,
and to see you standing there living your life as normal as can be
made me want to vomit.
I would hope had you noticed me sitting there waiting,
you would not have been talking about how you partied last weekend,
how you were going out with a buddy tonight,
and how you've been really good the last little while.
I think about the lives that are ruined because of you, and your ways,
the life that has been taken from someone with help from you,
the fact you can live your life like any other day prior to this whole situation,
and I think about how you don't have a heart, and how you don't deserve to be a free man.
I had waited for this day for a long time,
and thinking about it I was sure I knew what I was going to say,
I practiced it for 8 months afterall,
Yet today, at the very sight of you, all of that disappeared,
and a whole other rage took over.
I was speechless for the first time.
If only I could have said all I wanted to,
because I know the frozen look on my face did not do my rage justice when you looked up.
When you realized it was me,
when you shot your head down so fast and hard that I'm sure you pulled a muscle.
I wish you would have snapped your neck.
After 8 months, I still fucking hate you,
and I still want you to take this and shove it!
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1 comment:
Makes me completely sick Lindsey.
Really and honestly why don't those fuckers all snap their necks. To be talking about partying after you have killed someone.
Makes me sick.
Your rage of seeing him is the real rage Lindsey. The practicing what to say is our ego talking. But the look up and seeing him and the real rage, now that is pure emotion and that is more important to get out than the words.
I hope if he ever says hi to you, that you either ignore him completely or tell him to fuck off. That is more than enough and all you need to do.
I hate all of those losers. Do not waste one second more of your energy wishing you had said anything, that doesn't matter. What matters is you will never speak to him and if you do, it is only to tell him to fuck off.
I love you sweet girl.
Love Renee
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